You are shy, new, or you feel uncomfortable and you have difficulty making yourself respected and made known by your professional entourage. The feeling of respect passes through an attitude of assertiveness in respect of others.
Being respected at work is important for self-esteem and for maintaining fluid work relationships.
How to be heard, how to get your ideas heard at work, how to be recognized by your colleagues, your superiors or as a manager? Here are some tips to get there.
1- Developing an attitude of self-affirmation
Assertiveness is an attitude that allows every one to respect himself, respect others, and be respected. It is an attitude that is learned and which passes by the development of certain relational skills.
Reward yourself
Recognize that you are a person who is as valuable as anyone else.
Gradually learn to express your right to the expression of your opinions, needs and feelings and respect this right in others. The goal is not to force others to approve your opinions but to express them and accept the contradiction.
Accept the opinions, feelings and needs of others.
* A fact is objective, it is not questioned.
* An opinion is subjective, it belongs to the one who expresses it: it is debatable.
* A feeling belongs to the one who feels it: it is respected.
Affirm yourself in situations of discord
Affirm yourself in front of others. Here are two classical relational situations:
* To express a disagreement (or apply), apply these techniques:
- describe the problem: "You ask me to write this letter tonight, I can not.".
- explain why you do not agree and/or how you feel: "I do not have the time, I have to finish the file for the meeting tomorrow morning, I could not finalize it before because it missed the salesman data who arrives only at the end of the day.".
- suggest possible solution (s): "I will write the letter tomorrow morning, just before the meeting you can sign it at the end of the meeting.".
- show the positive consequences of solutions: "So I finish the file, I am focused on it and tomorrow morning I have all the time and availability for the mail that will leave in time.".
* Coping with criticism:
- when criticism rests on proven facts, recognize them: "That is right.".
- when criticism rests on an opinion or a judgment, recognize the right of the other to express himself: "It is possible.", and give your point of view "For my part I think that...".
Respect and to be respect, is based on a reciprocal relationship between yourself and others: respect the people around you, even if you disagree with them on certain points.
2 - Make yourself respected and respect others
Being respected also involves respect for others. This relation of reciprocity is declined at all levels:
Adopt an irreproachable professional attitude
* Respect the expectations of the company: punctuality, reliability, rigor, skills, keeping deadlines, respect of the decisions circuits...
* Caring for your presentation is also a mark of respect.
* Stay courteous in all circumstances.
* Do not hesitate to maintain a certain distance: avoid talking too much about your personal life.
Respect your word without becoming rude
* Show that you want to be treated with respect even by your supervisor. If you are afraid to say it directly, do it in a roundabout sentence.
Example: your supervisor interrupts you in a conversation with a colleague who turns away to answer him. If you are afraid to tell them their rudeness directly, do it subtly: "If you want to have a conversation, we will resume ours later.".
* Refuse that you are cut off in a meeting.
Appointments available without being corveable
* Put your availability to the various solicitations you receive, it will influence what your colleagues or even your superiors will ask you later:
- re-evaluate the emergencies of the solicitations and reorient the answer: for example, a telephone contact may suffice and avoid a meeting.
- know how to say "not now, tomorrow at this hour.".
- know how to say no to what is not yours. But know also to make yourself available to render service (without abuse).
- do not interrupt your current tasks to respond to the slightest solicitation.
- always ask for clarification when what you are asked for is incomplete, do not act before you have all the information, you prove your professionalism.
- refuse to answer requests between two doors: ask to be reminded for example. Be careful not to become the right pear that you shoot everything smoothly!
* Learn to ask what you need: information, advice, materials.
* Give others what they need and that you are able to give.
* Keep the commitments you make: "you have to say what you do and do what you say", precept all the more true if you manage a team.
Manage conflicts with tact
In case of disagreement or poor relations, restore the dialogue.
* Go directly to your colleague, be courteous and polite.
* Do not complain, explain what you do not like: Describe the problem, explain what you feel, suggest solutions and tell them what it might bring to your professional relationships and the consequences nothing changing can also have.
* Then, if nothing changes, you can go see your superior.
3 - Practice these changes to make you more respected at work
Putting these tips into practice can be difficult. You can proceed in steps:
* Go through the writing:
- "Recognize that you are a person who is as valuable as anyone else": list what feeds this value.
- Practice formulating requests, disagreements.
* Give yourself goals:
- choose situations or people with whom it will be easier to develop these tips. Your confidence will increase.
- reach out to caring people.
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