Learning to Say No at Work

Why so many difficulties in saying "no" at work? In your unconscious, saying "no" generates fear of harming relationships with colleagues (fear of being judged, hurt, fear of conflict, being rejected from the group). Saying "no" can also generate fear with his hierarchy (fear of being considered lazy, fear of being replaced or even dismissed).

In reality, the "no" guarantees value to your "yes", setting the limits between what is realistic and achievable, legal, in your skills and desirable for your career. The "no" is a sign of respect and assertiveness. The whole thing is to say "no" with respect and explanation.

Here are some tips to learn how to say no at work.

Know what you need to do in your work

To be effective in your work, set limits on certain queries. In determining the goals of your job, list your priorities.

List what you have to do

To be able to say a "no" argued, you must know what you absolutely have to do in the day or in the next three days. You will thus be yourself persuaded that even with the best will in the world, you really can not say "yes" to a new task. To say "no" will no longer be selfishness but realism.

* List all projects, folders, or activities (an activity is a tasks group) of your post.

* Cut each project, folder, or activity into a tasks list. Every day, make a list of things to do:

- begin by scheduling the important and urgent tasks of the day: to do absolutely.

- then make those that are important but not urgent today: to do if there is time.

- finish with those that are neither important nor urgent at this time: to do if there is time if the other tasks are carried out.

Integrate your list into a global schedule

Every day, integrate your list into a schedule. Consider evaluating the duration of each task:

* Plan your schedule on the week so you will have a clear view of your activity and your availability.

* Take a color code by priority type. Ensure that there are always three types of tasks in your days, leaving you with flexibility to respond to unforeseen circumstances.

Attention: a non-urgent task today may become urgent tomorrow.

Take stock of your available time

You must always have in mind and on paper (or on screen) your priorities and realize that by always being there for others you can not focus on your work.

Your "no" will then be more easily understood. Thanks to your planning, you are able to explain your refusal.

Learning to say "no" at work to set limits

It is important to set limits, to differentiate an abusive request from a simple one-off boost.

* If the request is not part of your mission and therefore within your field of competence, you may encounter great difficulties if you say "yes".

Example: To decline, you can answer: "I understand that you need help, but I am embarrassed to have to refuse because I can not carry out this type of task".

* If the request concerns an infringement of labor law or safety, refuse.

Example: To decline, you can answer: "I understand but I can not accept this request. I do not want to take that risk under the law or I do not agree to take that risk".

You will be surprised at the reaction of your interlocutors, who will most often appreciate your very professional arguments. A "no" must always be in a relationship of respect and must be explained. It is the brutal "no" that hurts and assaults.

The interlocutors accept the message, because you clearly and completely assert yourself without colliding and without losing touch. Express yourself with your own personality without arousing hostility around you. Know to say "no" without feeling guilty because you are right.

Assert yourself by the "no", without imposing yourself

By the "no", you assert to others your values, your opinions, your professionalism, your place. Know to communicate without imposing yourself respecting always the others.

Care for your communication

Knowing to say "no" goes through a quality communication:

* Look at your interlocutor in the eyes: you thus manifest your sincerity and you will only be more credible. A tendency to look on the floor or elsewhere reveals your lack of self-confidence. Conversely, if you look too hard at your contact person, he may feel uncomfortable.

* Put yourself on the same level as your interlocutor: sitting if he is sitting, standing if he is standing. This establishes a relationship of equality.

* Punctuate your words with appropriate gestures. This can underline the important, open and warm character of your remarks.

* Adopt an expression that is consistent with what you say.

* Master your voice. Stay calm.

* Take care of your speech. If your answer is filled with long periods of hesitation, you may give the impression that you lack self-confidence.

* Listen, point your attention to the person you are talking to: take the time to answer. 

To give you time, think out loud about the issue, how difficult it is for you, the alternatives you see.

Formulate your answer with the following method:

- I: start your sentence with "I".

- Empathy: consider your interlocutor: "I understand".

- Emotion: yours and those of your interlocutor: "I am embarrassed to have to refuse, I understand that this can put you in a difficult situation".

- Precis: be direct: "No, I can not because I have three files to complete myself, in two days".

- Persistent: if the person insists, repeat (up to three times: technique of the striped disc): "No, I understand that you are overwhelmed but I also have a lot of work".

- Solutions: propose a solution, another way to go, another person...